Tidbits

Be patient and understanding. Surely we all could be more patient and understanding, especially with the people we love. This is doubly so for people who are married, if for no better reason than because you'll still be there after whatever caused the stress blows over. And well, because you love her, right?

 Be open. She may have ideas or opinions you might not want to hear. Try to be open anyway. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything she says, but it does mean that you don't have to argue with her.

  Demonstrate. It's not enough to tell your wife you love her, or to buy her a card every now and then. If you truly love your wife, and want to be a good husband, you have to do things periodically to show it. Things like surprise her with stuff she likes. Or things like hugging and kissing her even if it won't lead to sex. Do things that mean something to just the two of you. And remember, once in a blue moon is not enough! You need to do something demonstrative just about  much every day.

Be respectful. Don't yell at her. Don't call her names. Don't demean her. Say please and thank you. Open the door for her. Get things for her without asking. These are things guys do to show they love someone. If you don't do them, she's likely to think you don't.

What not to say.

1. Another woman’s name during sex
2. “You sound just like your mother.”
3. “You sound just like my ex-girlfriend.”
4. “Not tonight honey, the game is on."
5. “When are you going to stop talking?"
6. "No wonder your ex left you"
7. “What did you do to your hair?”
8. “It must be that time of the month.”
9. “I don’t care, whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me.”
10. “Wow, she’s got a great rack.”
11. “You could have surgery for that.”
12. “Wow, he’s cute.”
13. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.”
14. “I know I said I'd do it, be patient..”
15. “Okay, but only if you shower first.”
16. “I didn’t plan it, it just happened.”
17. "I just ate, but put in a dish and give it to the dogs."
18. “You kill it, I’m afraid of mice!”
19. “Will you do it if I trim them?”
20. “I’m sorry, I’ll try to hold out longer next time.”
21. “Can you feel it?”
22. Well, you seemed to be enjoying it.”
23. “I think you’ve had enough to eat.”
24. “Do you want to see it dance?”
25. “Maybe you should try kegels.”

Great advice for husbands

http://www.markmerrill.com/2011/02/03/10-things-wives-want-to-hear-from-their-husbands/

I found this page to be very helpful. Check it out and maybe learn a thing or two.
I'd like to think my wife has heard all of these things from me. If not, she will now.

Listening?

"To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation."  -unknown author

Listening.

 It's been a problem for a long time and I've been trying to work on it. I know that a lot of husbands have this issue. Some guys are too busy thinking about other things or simply just don't care what their wives/girlfriends have to say.

 Listening requires effort.

I found some helpful tips from this site:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_60/63_dating_advice.html

In order to avoid the temptation of wandering off into your own little world, stay alert to what the person has to say and focus in on their message.

  Instead of trying to think of a rebuttal while your spouse is talking, use this spare time to try and understand their ideas, complaints or feedback.

If you find that you can't hear your spouse properly or you're finding it hard to focus on the message, try to reduce or eliminate the distractions: turn off the television, close the window, lower the music, or move to a quieter area.

It's important for us to listen to them and validate what they are saying. They want to know that we hear them as well as listen to them. Yes there is a difference.

When they are talking, let them know that you are listening to them by looking at them, eye contact is key. Use body language too. When they are talking to you, if possible turn your body towards them to show you are giving them your undivided attention. Nod your head or use facial expressions, don't just sit there with a blank face or stare out the window. That's just rude.

Even if it's something you don't really care about, just  know that it's important to her or she wouldn't be talking about it. And take the initiative to ask her about her day or how she's doing. That will show that you really care about them and their feelings. They need to know that they can talk about anything to us and that we won't criticize them or make them feel like we don't care.

Like I said, this is a problem for me and I'm doing what I can to work on it.

What will you do?